Robin (and Tim),
Welcome to AC and to the user board.
"Orders" in AC is a bit of a mess. It is one of the aspects of the program that both the company and users agree needs improvement.
To address your specific questions:
1. When you click on the "referrals" tab, it should bring up a list of all of the providers in your "Practice Rolodex". Perhaps you have not entered anyone there. Put in some of the docs you want to refer to. Now when you click the "Referrals tab" you can select the doctor, put a comment in the right column (if you wish) and "print orders" direct to Updox. No need to involve messages at all.
2. You will not need to go to your messages while in a note; you just go to "Orders". You can edit the lists in each tab of orders so that these will act as the templates you are talking about (you just check them and they go on the order sheet).
3. "A path into a tickler system"...well, yes and no. I think you are talking about "Reconciling orders" which is a process that should be made easier by an EMR, but AC doesn't yet do that.
I wrote a long post about a year ago laying out some thoughts about orders and reconciliation. It is a complex topic (as it stands now in AC) so I am not sure if you want to get involved with it now. (And what I describe is only my view). If you choose to read more,
here it is. 4. What you are talking about is a bidirectional interface, where you not only send orders, but also receive them. I don't know of anyone who has successfully done this in AC, but hopefully someone will speak up now and explain how they do it.
If any of this is not clear or requires elaboration, please feel free to ask.