Home Forums Discussions General Discussion The Ugly Face of Facebook

OK, I would really like to get everyone's opinion on this. I have 2,000 patients. One gets pissed. Why? Well, she calls me at 7:24 am on a Saturday for her kid's ear infection. We had seen him two days prior so I told her I would call in an antibiotic. She gave me the pharmacy, and I sent it in. Apparently, they were closed -- holidays and all -- so she called back to change it. My answering service went down so I did not get her next two pages. On her third page, (five total hours) the service told her they would call my cell making it sound as though that it the only way I return my calls. They called me and sent a fax, which basically stated that I only needed to send the script to a different pharmacy which I did. Lesson learned, even so I probably should have called her, but I basically missed two calls and responded promptly to her third. So, on Monday, she called the office and went off on my staff and told them I was the worst pediatrician ever and blah, blah, blah and they were leaving. So, I sent a letter explaining everything and apologized. I explained about the service. What more can I do?

So, today she puts up this derogatory and untrue statement about me on her Facebook account also asking for advice for a good pediatrician. She could have just said she had an issue with her doctor and needs a new doctor, but she had to use my name and the practice's name. Over 20 people, so far, responded.

I, of course, was mortified. I asked questions about with knowledgeable people, but there is absolutely nothing I can do. Facebook has an anti-defamatory policy, but have you ever tried to get hold of them. They list a phone number which then tells you they don't take calls and to email them, which I can't find. I guess you could say having a number at least tells people not to keep looking, but why then have an audex with six options each telling you, sorry but they don't take phone calls.

I don't think this is going to be the end of Facebook. Essentially, there is nothing to do. The reason I found out was because of a patient of mine who "unfriended" her that same morning. Unfortunate, as she could have written a positive comment. Of course, you can delete any comment someone writes on "your wall."

Any suggestions? I am still trying to reach Facebook. What if they said something truly spiteful or demeaning?

I mean, sure, when I step back, how many people see her page and all are friends anyway, so they would hear from her.

Bert,

You already did more than I would have done. Good riddance to her. None of us need patients like that in our practice but, unfortunately, we all have them. Take the high road and move on.

I think unfortunately you are stuck - live with her leaving (at least she won't call you on Saturdays any more). That is the problem with the internet in general.

I also am amazed that a person calls to ask for meds - does not know the pharmacy name or number - does not know if they are open and expect us to figure this out and fix it for them. Personal responsibility is out the window.

This forum is great for learning ePrescribe and importing and all sports of tHings AC. But when you really need a lift, the friendships on here are wortha thousand Terabytes. Thanks guys!

Assuming she's married, expect to see the divorce announcement shortly. Stress for sure but it shouldn't be yours.

Bob

(a former peds)

Bert,

If you want to take it to the next step on Facebook, you can report this person for what Facebook calls "abuse". Find your ex-patient's Facebook page. You won't be able to see the actual wall post or much other information, or post a comment, unless this person has "friended" you. However, you can submit an "abuse" report by clicking the "Report/Block this person" link at the bottom of the left column on the abuser's profile. In the window that opens, check "Inappropriate Wall Post". The complaint is anonymous.

That's as far as I'd take it. You could send a message, even to a stranger, by clicking the link "Send (name) a message" under the Profile Picture at the upper left. But that may open a can of worms.

Anyway, don't worry about this ex-patient's friends seeing her defamatory post. John's first rule of social networks: Morons generally have morons for friends.

?I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig, you get dirty; and besides, the pig likes it.? George Bernard Shaw.

Also,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UouP8cRYZ8

Dave

Bert:

I could list a few patients like this, one even yelled at me in the office cause he had to sign a HIPPA form again in less then a year (b/c of phreesia). I and my desk explained that we knew of the issue and had a phone conference in the morning to address it. He yelled in our waiting room and in the Pt room. Ignorant people are morons! Let them be and find other docs. We dont need them. U and I are physicians. We love what we do and helping people so we try hard and sometimes put our personal lives on hold for patients but sometimes people are too stupid. Just smile, let her say what she wants. People will probably see the post and think she is a moron.

Your next steps should be a discharge letter giving her 30 days to find her kids a new pediatrician, citing the complete issue and you seeing her facebook page. Quote it if u can still see it. Save the letter in AC and 30 days from tomorrow u won't have to worry about this lady. I just feel sorry for her kids.

It is hard to let go but let it be. If I got to say to the patients that aren't happy what I wanted to, I think I would be in a lot of trouble for swearing at patients and picking fights.

Hang in there...You are a great doc...just look at your number of total patients? That is all u need to know.

U know who...

Dave said it perfectly. Besides Bert, in the long run, you are better off not having this person in your practice. Sooner or later something would have set her off. She's probably the type that would have chewed out Christ for not resurrecting soon enough for her schedule. You just can't please some people!

I once had a complaint filed with the medical board by a patient who wanted a long confrontatory phone conversation I refused to take, insisting instead of an office visit. Everyone gets one of these things from time to time. Try to let it go. Dave is spot on.

Dave,

I love that quote and it is so true.

Bert,
I know you...try not to take this personally. She is taking it out on you because she has to deal with a sick, cranky kid who is messing up her weekend plans. When my server was down for 10 days, 99% of my patients were understanding and patient. But there were one or two that thought it was my fault and I did it on purpose. You are a great guy, a great pediatrician and a good friend. I usually make myself feel better in these situations by thinking how much worse the patient will be when they change to another practice.

Bert,

You seem like a nice enough guy, and you are I am sure a great pediatrican (though the amount of time you spend on here searching after my posts and telling me to stop whining we will see [JUST KIDDING!!!!!! come on smile!]), and the patient really won't be happy with anyone. Patients tend to forget that we are not ON DEMAND like their movies and porn on Direct TV. We work, and we have time we are away from the office and we get back to them as soon as possible. . .and when something goes wrong, if they can't figure it out, too bad...these are the same people that are calling the electric company every five seconds after a huge storm yelling about how the power is still out...in my estimation, have a beer, if you come to chicago i will buy you a few...and F*%& them...lol

Bert,

First to your specific situation; it is exactly because you are such a caring and compassionate Doc that this hurts you - if you were an @sshat, you would have already forgotten her.

It's one thing to go out of your way to help someone, and have them not appreciate it, adding insult to injury is when they turn around and kick you in the crotch. That is just mean and a demonstration of poor character.

the reality is that people's true nature shows through in moments of stress and duress. Be glad she is gone to be-devil some other soul.

In a broader context, you bring up social media, and tracking what people are saying about you and your practice - there are some fairly straightforward things that folks can do to keep tabs on such things.

One of the easiest is to setup Google Alerts so that you get an email whenever your name or your practice name is mentioned on the Internet.

The second is to nicely encourage positive comments/posts via a sign/note/flyer posted somewhere in your lobby area suggesting that patient feedback is welcome, and some examples from other patients.

There is much more to the subject, but that is a start.

Again Bert, Water off a duck's back, seriously.

Bert,
I agree with everyone. Say goodbye to that patient. I am amazed at how patients "fly off the handle" over little things. I had a patient last month complain about the nurse being late for his fingerstick blood work. He was the first patient of the day and arrived 15 minutes early. The receptionist greeted him and told him sorry for his wait but the nurse was delayed by one of her kids and would be in shortly. Seven minutes after his scheduled appointment time the patient meanly tells the receptionist he is going to find a new doctor storms out ! The nurse then arrived 3 minutes later. I then set a reminder on Amazing Charts for one month later to fire the patient. Fortunately he did transfer records on his own. This was not the first bad behavior from this patient (the first time we gave him the benefit of the doubt as to maybe he was just having a bad day).

The problem with social media is the patient can get away with saying what they want (most of the time), but in many cases you can't respond due to privacy regulations.
...Ken

I know this sounds silly (and I am only writing it 'cause as a GM, I can delete it after), but this is touching. Reading these posts is 100 times better than reading what her friends wrote (nothing bad about me).

Plus, tremendous advice. I think a lot of people can get a lot from this thread. My attorney told me, "No good deed goes unpunished," I didn't understand it, but it sounded good.

Excuse me, but I need to answer my Facebook comments and make the plane to Chicago. How can I turn down Ketan.

That YouTube video is hilarious.

OK, if you are in Chicago, you can come see my patients. I thought I had the market on "special parents." Sad to say, they are not just in Chicago

If that Mom wants another Pediatrician, that's fine, because she will get what they deserve, someone who will not spend any time or listen to her demands. They cannot get angry because they will not have enough time to interact with the doc.

It's very frustrating to have a patient flame out on you. Unfortunately, this has happened a number of times in my office and I have had to dismiss a few patients. They will get into the room and say "Oh no, it's not you, its the staff" and I will have to explain that I personally trained the staff and it IS a reflection on me. If they cannot deal with my staff without insults and vulgarity, they need to find another MD. I will give them a second chance sometimes, depends on their how they react. Otherwise a yellow sticky states do not reschedule and a letter goes out. Haven't had a facebook one that I know of, but then I don't spend any time there (although enough of my staff does that I would probably be aware.* )

Repeating what was said above, you can't please all the people all the time, so you should not get that upset when they are not pleased. One less headache will hopefully be replaced by the next wonderful parent that you wish to have. In the meantime, just keep plugigng away.

*Ran this post by my receptionist who stated that if you repeatedly report it as spam, Facebook will react. But then again is it really worth te hassle?

Facebook and social media can be a great way of advertising too, don't forget that. If all your staff has you listed as the employer and your website, it works out well! And every week or so I will make a status comment about the practice and how we are doing just to keep myself in people's minds.

On the other hand, i know it can be bad, but most people will see the comment and ignore it. . .

May Twitter, lol.

I have a blog and a twitter account...i am not good about using it though...if you get people to follow you it isn't a bad idea...

Bert....I could tell you an internet horror story that way predates facebook. A patient who was angry at me made an advertisement and posted it on an internet ad board advertising that I did abortions at my home address. I have two small children and live out in the middle of no where. I don't even do OB let alone any OB procedures. The patient was angry that insurance didn't cover an elective abortion and blamed me inspite of it being an issue in a contract that her union negotiated. She was an active union member and a militant feminist. I only learned of this when a family member who was coming to visit googled me and found it. Phones were buzzing. We had the internet police involved but the feminist DA wouldn't give them a supoena to pursue the investigation. The police said that this was definitely cyberterroism. I try to forget about it. Needless to say when I contacted the ad board, the ad was removed within minutes and the board soon disappeared completely. It was frightening because it was around the time of the last physician abortionist murder. I try to forget about it. The ad had been on the internet with all my personal information for over 6 months. It is still scarey.

StLawrence,

Thanks very much for sharing that with me. Makes mine look like a little ripple in the water.

Bert, we've had quite a few nasty things posted on the internet about us... sometimes they include just straight personal attacks. In every case the patient gets upset because of 1)something that is actually Their fault, 2)they insist the Alice do something she does not feel is proper for medical or legal reasons, or they just didn't want to pay their bill or even just their copay. Those anonymous doctor rating sites are the worse, and its one reason we wont use zocdoc. The patients can rate you, but they can withold their name. Every negative rating on their that I've seen, the patient witheld their name. One is actually our patient who was complaining about an allergist we referred her to. Its the first complaint we had from a patient about him since she's been in practice... and it was an anonymous complaint. We found out because HE came to tell us about it...she never mentioned it to us.

Oh, yeah, in one I was even described as "this creepy guy with bad breath and sleep always in his eyes." I may be creepy (BOO!) but I do was my face. The better to scare you with my dear.

I had a similar circumstance recently. A woman came in with two kids as new well-child patients and had an hour blocked out of my morning schedule. Another woman came in with a sick kid and I squeezed her in first - simple triage. The woman ended up having to wait 23 minutes exactly before she stormed out. Part of the problem was one of her kids misbehaving badly - running around, flipping off the lights, and throwing a screaming trantrum. My MA called her back and she said the child was in time-out on the couch, where he was screaming, kicking, and slobbering face down. My MA said that this is a place of business, and perhaps he could do his time out in the car. She then got up and exclaimed how she had waited over 20 minutes and she would take her children to another place of business. We spent the next hour with no patients because of her cancellations.

This patient then went on Facebook and told all her friends about her bad experience. Fortunately, she did not list the practice name. She also posted a tirade to me as a private message on Facebook, that consisted of a rambling run-on sentence that took up an entire page.

Her message certainly made her sound unstable. I do not think anyone should be so upset about a 20 minutes wait. However, I felt my employee's words to her were completely unprofessional and I'm thinking about letting her go. I'd appreciate any thought you have on the subject.

Those are unbelievable.

@Wayne It would be nice to tell her it is patients like her that keep the "sleep in our eyes." Most patients consider that a good trait.

I think your employee's words were very professional!! She has your business at heart and was willing to be the bad guy/gal for you. I would applaud my staff for taking such a stand.

Wow, the first time Leslie and I disagree. I didn't see your last paragraph. When I read what she said, I was like, "wow!" Fortunately six months out of the year, we have a playground right out back and we can suggest it. But, I think she threw gas on the fire.

If only people would use Facebook for what is the best - I think I need more watering cans on my farmville farm.....

Boondoc,
There is acceptable and unacceptable behavior. I have had patients who pick the plastic covers off the furniture right in front of their parents and parents act oblivious.

No I think your receptionist was right on for stating this was unacceptable behavior.

Why was she seeing you as a new doc? Because she wasn't happy with her old doc. If she wigged out on a 20 minute wait, she did you a favor and self triaged her family out of your practice.

In our office we would put a yellow sticky note stating she walked out of an appointment because of a 20 minute wait. IF I am flexible to let her in there would be a $60 no show charge (regular 15 minute appt is only $15, but she left 4 slots.)

I probably would not let her back in unless I was feeling very mellow. Anyone with such unrealistic expectations would make your life miserable.

Boondoc, your MA was quite professional. Perhaps a slight change in wording. Or perhaps she could have let it go as long as there were no other patients there. You wouldn't let her go, you would work with her to "fine-tune" what she says so that she get the response she wants (Mother more strictly disiplining child) instead of one unintended (patients leaving). But its not as if she used poor judgement. And with that patient, maybe nothing would get the desired response.

DoctorWAW, hey I love the sticky note "walked out on 20 min. wait." I've had to tell some patients...Dr. C's visit is not like your meeting at the office. She can't just walk outon a sick person because time is up. She cant just hang up on the ER because you want to see about your sinus infection. And we have dismissed patients when necessary.

Like others have stated, do not take it personal, and move on, most likely this person is not happy and all her freinds know her well. I have gained many stellar patients by letting go patients that made life hard for my staff and myself. My other patients had respect for me to not allow a bad appple to ruin the whole crop. I am sure her friends take her with a grain of salt and ignore most of her complaining. Most people understand Doctor's are pulled many directions these days. Good luck and continue to work hard for your pateints, they will appreciate you in the long run.

Thanks spyro.