Yes, David; thanks for the thoughtful and thought-provoking story.
Elsewhere online, a physician posted a simple story about giving a few dollars to help an indigent parent who was a few dollars short in the checkout line at the supermarket. He described the satisfaction he felt from such an easy and painless act of kindness. His story made me think about the fact that while there may be a million ways to perform meaningful and kind deeds, it can be hard to find the right time and place and way to do so; even when we truly want to. In his specific example, how can you be sure that the person needs or wants that help, or will appreciate it rather than resenting it? This reminded me of your story, as I believe that grappling with the search for the ?right way? to be generous is one of its themes.
It is easy for us to overlook how special it is to be a physician in these challenging times. One way we are lucky is that we live with the knowledge that every day we are doing good for others. I don?t intend to demean other professions: stockbrokers, lawyers, plumbers, salespeople, etc., etc., all ?help? people? but what we have chosen to do is somehow different from many other jobs. Even on a bad day, we have helped people feel better, helped them deal with pain, live with grief, and address their mortality. Even on our worst days when we are furious and frustrated?when the insurance company rejects a legitimate claim, or won?t authorize a medication, or when a ?deadbeat? won?t pay their co-pay?even on all of those days, we don?t have to figure out ?How can I be charitable today? How can I do a good deed?? Because we have already done it. Even if we don?t always get the appreciation we deserve, we should live with the satisfaction of knowing that we have done some good.
So David, you have carried this seemingly simple story with you all of your life. I don?t know you and I don?t know your practice. But I would bet that by your choice of a career and by the way you practice medicine, day by day, you have addressed your ?shame and rage?. You say you would not know how to deal with the same situation, if it were to occur today; I would say that you have spent your life dealing with it. In the best possible way.
