Well, some of us are...

albeit with help from AC.
We upgraded last week, and I have been meaning to come back and describe our experience, especially since I raised the whole "$500 for any new server" issue.
Up until now, we have done all upgrades (back to V5 I think) with an occasional glitch or bump but no major issues. This one was different. With AC support logged in for about 4 1/2 hours, we finally got the new server provisioned, V12 installed, and 4 workstations upgraded. The process was not at all straightforward. I am convinced that some of the difficulties relate to choices made by AC, some dictated by security needs (encryption required by AC and for regulatory reasons) and some because each of our networks and machines are different. We had superior support from Jarreth who worked his way through the process for us.
After a few hours of stress -mostly for the staff, who kept the office running through this- by noon we were up and running with a functional network and work stations, and the final workstation was added with another 20 min of work at the end of the day.
I also want to share some good news which bodes well for the future of AC users. My concern about paying $500 for a simple provisioning of a new server resulted in contact with Scott Byrd who runs the "Client Success Team" at AC. This is a group of problem solvers at the company whose role seems to be facilitating the resolution of an assortment of our issues. For me, this meant getting the technical support we needed to get up and running with a new server on V12 with minimal disruption to our work flow. In addition, we reached an agreement on a fair price to do so. My suggestion going forward is that users contact Scott's team at clientsuccess@amazingcharts.com for thorny issues. They seem to have the authority, commitment, and staff to resolve troublesome issues for us.
As to the James NT categorization system, I humbly propose a subdivision..."1. Those who know how to do all that or have access to someone like me who knows how to do all that." I am not a 1a (I do NOT know how to do all that); rather I am a 1b... I have access to James. Thanks, James for being on back-up through the process. It did not go as planned, though all's well that ends well. It alleviated my anxiety to know that you were available to be sure I didn't become a 3.
Also see here for my suggestions for mapping:
http://acusersforum.com/ub/ubbthreads.php/topics/80113#Post80113