Home Forums Discussions General Discussion Custody and rights

I will probably contact my lawyer again. This question goes out to all those who take care of children. It is shocking how many biological parents end up hating each other and making many of their decisions based on that. It really makes it difficult. A few issues are:

1. Don't tell theo ther parent anything
2. Don't give out records to the other parent
3. A parent demanding or asking that they be called when an appointment is made
4. A parent calling to ask what occurred at the visit that day and can you explain what the out come was.
(#4 happens even in non-confrontational situations and even when both parents are living together and happy -- it's understandable, yet annoying to talk to the other parent at the end of the day and relive the appointment) Another example that you can compare to an attorney. An attorney would gladly talk to a parent for 15 minutes at $250 per hour).

So, my main question is what is everyone's criteria for when another parent is allowed to have information, records, etc. We have always felt that if parent had partial custody and there were no court order stating otherwise, that each parent had rights to information about the patient. Does that mean that a father left home at six months for 10 years and never had any contact have a right to ask for a copy of the records, etc.?

I won't get anymore specific. This came up because a mother who is in court proceedings currently over custody called and just WENT OFF on my receptionist, because we gave a copy of the records to the bio dad.

Of course, no matter what the outcome, the rudeness is another issue that needs to be dealt with, but I don't think I will at this time until I know where I stand legally.

Generally, we just want some type of written documentation in the chart from the court stating a parent has full custody and/or the other parent has no right to medical records, etc.

The whole situation is sad, and all of us who take care of children, deal with it all too often.

Sadly, we face this issue on a regular basis.
These are my 2 cents on how we handle this thorny issue:

1. anytime a parent 'who is not involved' asks for records, we make them pay for it AND we make a courtesy call to the parent 'who is involved' letting them know about record being released. Making them pay often makes the 'uninvolved' parents not want the records. And letting the other parent know in advance defuses any future blow-ups.
2.For the parent who cannot be at appointments but asks to be briefed every time after the appointment, we do it once and then insist that the child will not be seen unless both parents are present.
3.For the parent who wants to be notified of appointments, we let them know that we are not responsible for "inter-parent" communication. We will call one number for appointment reminders and they have to let the other party know.

That sounds like a very sound strategy. I will use it in the future.

Yes, thanks. It does. I still wonder if anyone knows the best way to actually know if the other parent has rights to information.

We have had to dismiss one family not for this, but for CONSTANTLY bickering about each other while in the office or on the phone instead of even talking about the child's issue. We warned them several times.

Sadly the same scenario occurs with the older folks with memory problems. Multiple calls from various offspring about the patient's condition after an office visit, rather than speaking to the caregiver who was present. A distant son or daughter will want records, we suspect over a battle over control of assets. I have had to tell the entire squabbling family that they were interfering with my care of the patient, and I was heading for the exit, they can take Mom or Pops elsewhere. That usually works, for a while at least.