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Geez Bert, I feel stifled... That could be harmful to the sarcastic bitch in me!

I have a better idea. Let's all descend on David on Orcas Island. What a great place to hold a medical meeting! Think we could get some CME backing?

Leslie

Leslie, did the chainsaws concern you? But the Left Coast sounds good to me, since I don't make the awesome income that you MD's make [insert sarcastic giggle here].

Well, when Bert said he would bring two different brands of saws, yes, I did get a little chill. Then I thought about Hockeyref holding a chainsaw and I got really nervous.
I like the image of killer whales much more than killer hockey lovers.

Leslie

How about Paul holding a chainsaw in one hand, and the other hand on the wheel of his Jeep?? That is just plain scary. I hope it will comfort you to know that they probably can't get those things on a plane...

Oh, it's rather easy to get a chain saw past customs. I usually hide them in a compartment in my water bottle.

Just need to put the letters E. U. L. and A. on anything you need cut, Leslie, then give Paul the chainsaw. Hell, he could probably take it apart with his bare hands. But, I shouldn't speak for him, though.

Bert, the very fact that you have even considered how to break down a chainsaw to get it on a plane (let alone in some kind of mother of a water bottle) is rendering me awed, and yet terrified. Besides, we're way past the land clearing at Leslie's (local law enforcement advised her against bringing in any "foreign talent"). We're going whale watching now which sounds much, uh, safer (except for the whales)??

Ya know guys, I'm pretty disappointed in all of you and your level of respect for me and my chosen proffession (not Practice Manager)... The screen name is Hockeyref, note the "Ref" for the official who tries to keep the peace, order and fairness to the game. I try to keep my games clean and safe. I am a strong supporter and proponent of the "New Standard" which used to be the only standard. I have taken a lot of slack and I am even presently being black-listed for calling my games tight and properly enforcing the rules as they are laid out and written. I hate clutch and grab, hack and wack hockey and that is why I became an official, to try and bring some amount of fairness and speed and beauty back to the game. You must all think I'm some sort of Hill Billy, 4X4 driving Axe Murderer or something!!!

I have never even used or owned a chainsaw in my life! Funny how nobody picks on Bert as some sort of hack and wacker seeing that he much like some surgeon has an assortment of good tools there... One for the big cuts and one for the smaller delicate ones Bert??? Reminds me of the old Mad Magazine spoof I read as a kid about the "Man from Glad" helping to Muggers in distress. He brought little sandwich bags for the small body parts and then the large trash bag for putting them all together for one neat trash run.

But hey I still can't find two buck chuck here in NYS even though we have a really decent wine store here in our area. I believe it is now legal to send wine via mail and shipping services across state lines. NYS and California want to be able to have their respective vinards make internet sales so somebody finally got this all fixed. Might you be a real "friend" of this axe murderer and send Nancy and me a couple of bottles to try??? If you do I promise not to fly out there and go Chop, chop....

Donna,
Most of these solo private practice PCP's are making less than $10 an hour when you really factor in all the hours and work they put in. I know I do my wife's books and have talked to a few others as to how much they actually pull down. Nancy and I should have just both have gotten two master's degrees to teach in public school. We'd be making better money, have a great benefits package, be off by 3-4 o'clock, have all holidays, weekends and summers off with out kids and generally be less stressed and free to come and go as we please, all with little of no debt hanging over our heads.

If I wasn't already 46, with a mass of under employeed graduates of teaching programs in my community already, I would seriously consider going back to SUNY Binghamton (SUNY is the NYS state college system here) and do such. I want to be at Yellowstone, the Tetons and the Grand Canyon, fishing, camping and wheeling with my kids, teaching them great stuff and enriching their lives in ways I simply can't under our present situation. But I am taking a few days off over the next break next month to take them to NYC to see MSG and the NY Rangers, the Empire State building and most importantly the Museum of Natural History. My dad used to take me and my two older brothers there all the time.

Anyway, not all hockey players and fans, and certainly not most officials are crazy Canucks running around wild, aimlessly swinging five foot pieces of lumber in the air. Just call me Jason why don't ya??? Geeezzzz. Give a guy a break why don't ya???
Paul

Paul, I will gladly send you and Nancy some Two Buck Chuck. You'll need to decide whether you want Cabernet, Merlot, Chardonnay or Savigion Blanc. The Merlot is very nice, full and fruity with just a hint of berry (Did you like that Bert?). We get it at our local Trader Joe's (in Chico CA, formerly Playboy's #1 party school, those were the good old days). My only request is that you consider the source of all that (meant to be, anyway) good-natured kidding, and give ME a break! We have teased Bert mercilessly about his "dates", so now I think you guys are even and we can go forward. Sorry for offending you, and I know even better than you how much providers make in this era, I haven't had paid time off, health insurance, retirement, etc since we went into this venture three years ago. I'm gonna have to find another job soon so I can put something away for any kind of future. Thank God Walmart hires the elderly for greeters! Anyway, I'm going back to my billing now, so we can afford payroll this week...

Donna,

Not sure if you get the water bottle reference but, if not, here is a linkg http://tinyurl.com/2yyjm3

Paul,

By reading your post, it is difficult to tell if you are serious, i.e. angry with all of us for joking with you or not. The post goes back and forth between what seems like you are genuinely offended and then a happy go lucky post. I hope it is not the former as I don't think anyone meant any harm, but I will reserve anymore official apologies until your clarification.

Uhhh...maybe it wouldn't be such a good idea for all of us to get together?

Oh, come on you guys!

It would be great to get together -- you could see Paul's face and tell if his eyes had a happy twinkle, or if they were misted over with superhuman rage!

I think they were twinkling as he typed the above.

You wine-bibbers need to come down to the River Valley and tour all the small wineries in our area: we've got Cowie, Post Familie, Wiederkehr, Chateau Aux Arc and Mount Bethel Wineries in one county. You can make a day of it, and stagger from tour to tour!

Only if you provide the limo... I like to do my swaggering to nicer cars! Do they call actually call moonshine "wine" down there?? (Note: Previous comment not intended to offend anyone. I mean it!!)

Sorry folks,
Yes for the most part I did have my tongue deeply buried in my cheek. We hockey folks are sick and tired of having our sport misunderstood by the greater American public. We only seem to get "ink" when something turns ugly. So we hockey folks are a bit touchy about getting picked on for our supposed much greater perpensity for violence.

Meanwhile, it seems that the real worst of organized sports these days are in the other big 3 of the 4. They have bench clearing brawls in Baseball and basketball; while we in hockey took stiff measures against this and there hasn't been one in the pro ranks in years because of this pro-active stand. There is all sorts of negative, urban trash talking and show boating in Baseball, football and basketball. I'm about to join an officiating organization that covers all sports, and it seems that officials are getting harrased and abused just as much if not more in the other supposedly less violent sports.

But ya gotta admit that the picture of me with my dirty blond mullet and Canuck style goatee blowin' in the wind, with one hand on the wheel of a beat up old ZJ Grand Cherokee with the other swinging some blue oil smoke spitting chainsaw in the other is pretty crazy now. I actually got quite a giggle out of the whole thing. "Now just where did I put that old form fitted, no cage in front, goalie mask from the 1970's??? Here kitty, kitty...."

Now granted I guess up in Maine, real men have to have a collection of chainsaws to go with there CCHITT-Kickers, pick-up trucks and flannel shirts....(hee, hee) but tell us bert, just what is a nice country doctor doing with such a fine assortment of these things????

You are all welcome to visit Orcas....the pertussis is really nice this time of year. But if you wait too long to come out, you may need to row yourself out here, because the number of ferries still running is rapidly dwindling!

As for seeing the whales, be careful not to get too close because we will soon have a local patrol boat out to fine anyone getting too close....you know like close enough to see one.

And if you do come visit.....you also must leave, no moving here or the island might sink...especially if you are from California (sorry Donna, the "islanders" made me include that because they say we have surpassed our quota on Californians, no offense intended!) :-)

Brian and gang,
Actually the Finger Lakes here in NYS just north of the Southern Tier has a whole bunch of great wineries. Now most of what is grown locally is white instead of red (we prefer red) because of the climate, but there are some nice reds to be found too. We could charter a bus, get a sloshed as we want, while trying to have a coherant conversation about AC.... Come on down!!!

"Let me tell ya one thing about AC..." (slur like Sylvester)

None taken, David. All that "bad" Californian stuff comes from those awful smog inhalers from the south. They sold their houses for inflated prices and then decided to move north. It hurt us in "Superior" California too! We actually consider ourselves more Oregon than Calif. I'll always remember the billboard I saw just over the Cal-Oregon border, with our golden state dropped off into the sea, so Nevada was on the coast. The headline was "We can dream can't we?". No wonder we're ready to suceed and take our water with us!

As for you Paul, if I'd known you had a mullet and beard, I wouldn't have been so easy on you!! Love & Kisses from the misunderstood/misrepresented/misquoted (oh, you have documentation?). TTFN

OK, so let me make a pitch for Bangor. Now Brewer since I relocated across the infamous Penobscot River.

First, we can all get our pictures taken at the foot of the Paul Bunyan statue. Usually, there is no more than a thirty minute wait. Then just down the road is the beer cave located conveniently inside Irwin Oil which is now the Blue Canoe, although they painted it yellow.

We then go to see Stephen King's house and the water tower from some of his books. It will be cool to drive by his house, 'cause no one ever does, and he gets lonely.

Of course, all kidding aside, we do have Bar Harbor and Nova Scotia and Prince Edward Island a couple of ferries away. I think we can still get pretty close to a whale here without any fines.

Well of course I have a mullet, I'm a burnt out old hockey player from the 70's for goodness sake!!! What else should I be sporting??? But I only started the goatee in the early 90's as the Canucks and the other playoff bound teams from the west started to sport those. Once I shaved it off a few years ago and Nancy and I both agreed I looked so dorky without it. I hardly recognized myself.... Never again.

I started to post about my facial hair, and then noticed this topic started as "Double ICD-9 Warning" and sort of got a confused feeling in my brain.

All you AC conference promoters: move it over to Jim's thread. It sounds like he's making some serious plans in the "Show Me" state!

Bert, we have a Paul Bunyan statue out here too! It's in the Redwood Forest, and Babe the Blue Ox stands right next to him. Apparently Babe is a guy ox, 'cause there are two rather massive testicles hanging down. I have a picture with me standing underneath... well, you get the picture!

There can only be one true Paul Bunyan. I don't think we took the ox, because he seems to have gender issues.

@Brian,

Now, don't go taking people off my thread. I'm proud of where it started and where it's going. I always like to see how far off-topic my threads can get. Besides, I am going for another record.

I would like everyone who has a Paul Bunyan statue in their state to post a link on this thread so we can compare them and judge which one is the most Bunyan-y.

Oh, yeah. Beat this one!

http://www.acadiamagic.com/bangor-maine/paul-bunyan.html

According to the above site:

This statue is 31 feet tall, weighs approximately 3,700 pounds and is reputed to be the largest of Paul Bunyan in the world.

Hard to beat! Any takers?

Consider yourself beaten Bert (don't get excited). Our Paul Bunyan is 49 ft tall, and his axe is 24 ft long (that gets ME excited!). His boots are 10 ft tall (guess what they say about foot size, etc is true??).

Anyway, so there!! If your curious to see this (and that well endowed ox) go to roadsideamerica.com, Trees of Mystery. I'm no techie so I can't give you better access.

Not as spectacular but I think the porta-potties really make this the more interesting picture!

www.waymarking.com/waymarks/WM1KH3

And for the record, the blue ox on the CA coast that Donna mentions does have huge blue.....well, what she said.

Donna, It doesn't count if you don't put a real URL on. You know..the blue hot link one. That's the rules..right Brian? It is. Right? No fair. I win, right?

I'll take my Blue's Balls and go home.

Now, about that Double ICD-9 thing. Do you think we could have a preference where we could turn that off? Just checking.

Here's Donna's link:

http://www.roadsideamerica.com/attract/CAKLAtrees.html

We have to make some allowances for the technically challenged among us.

That is a hilarious picture, David.

Paul seems to have an evil leer, as he cradles his axe and contemplates the Job Johnnies!

I told you I was techno challenged. But as far as blue balls go, Babe's got you beat (no, not by a hair). Okay, I'm stopping too, I'm getting too excited

OK, so that settles it. It's June 26 - 29 at the Trees of Mystery. It's rumored I will get married at the picturesque Redwood tree. This appears to be approxomately 100 or so miles north of Klamoth. Is this where Klamoth Falls are?

http://www.roadsideamerica.com/geo/showMap.php?attractionNo=2040

There are a few rooms left at the Narrow Gauge Inn. Wow, one view of that, and everything about the EULA just melts into the background.

http://www.narrowgaugeinn.com/home.html

But, we will need at least ten laptops or tablets.

Sorry Bert, Klamath Falls is in Oregon. I was there last summer with my dad, but we never did find any falls, just a little ripple in the stream. But there is a big green lake that they're harvesting algae out of! Aren't you glad I give you these insights!! I've never stayed at the Narrow Guage Inn (now you're going to Yosemite??) so I can't review it personally. Actually, if you're that close to the magnificent north coast, you'd be silly to stay inland!!

As you unofficial northern California tour guide, let me know if there are other interesting spots I can review for you (at a price).

Yeah, but Yosemite is such a cool name. We could rename Amazing Charts to Yosemite Charts. It has a nice ring. And, when people ask us how we got the name, it was just to annoy those people over at EMRUpdate.

So let me get this straight, Bert. You're now getting married in Yosemite and not under the blue ox?? I would understand if that would be intimidating, but it's only a legendary figure (much like yourself!). Please let me know, I hate to keep changing my reservations.

Well, it isn't easy to keep straight, because I don't have it straight. I live all the way over here on the sunny, warm east coast. I am just thinking that the blue ox and Yosemite are close to each other, given that the ad on the Trees of Mystery website was for the motel where I have reservations. How do I keep all this in my head? I have to remember Blue Ox and Yosemite. BOY, anyone have an acronym?

BOY, you'll do anything to keep this going Bert! I happen to have been to both Yosemite and to the Trees of Mystery and unless you have REALLY long legs or can defy certain laws of physics, you won't be getting married under the blue ox and in Yosemite at the same time.....or am I just getting confused here. Or course, this begs the question of who you are getting married to and when did that happen? Have you been away from the boards long enough to do that? :-)

BTW, since this post had ICD9 in the title, is there a code for "stupid" because I feel like I could use that code fairly frequently in day to day practice...maybe it is one of the E-codes!

Yeah, I suppose. I have been to both Yosemite and the Sequoia National Forest. I have driven through the grat Redwood. I guess the reason I was a bit confused and/or posted the Yosemite line of beds and breakfasts, etc. was that 3 of the 4 Google ads on the Trees of Mystery site were for Yosemite. So, either they have moved closer together or the Yosemite hotel and motel people are not spending their advertising dollars very wisely.

Didn't happen yet. Hence the marriage at the Trees of Mystery where it states that many marriages take place very much like Niagra Falls which is also a stone's throw from Yosemite.

Now guys, and Leslie since you seem to know much more about farms and livestock than I, please correct me if I'm wrong here, but even if that "Babe" is Gender correct (Male?) isn't he still anatomically incorrect??? Aren't "Oxen" castrated males??? Isn't that what makes them Oxen in the first place??? Otherwise they would simply be bulls, right? It's not Paul and his Bull Babe, It's Paul and his Ox Babe.

http://prairieoxdrovers.com/moreinfo.html

Isn't Google wonderful??? They are steer that are castrated and taught how to work. Ya know for a bunch of medical doctors and others in the field you folks sure seemed to have missed the obvious here about old Babe. Aren't you guys supposed to be a bit more observant?

Donna do we need to be concerned about you choice in men and partners dear??? And no offense here, But Bert, Just who are you marrying in the first place??? I hope she doesn't have a high concentration of poly vinyl cloride...

Now granted those are a fairly impressive set of , but none the less, incorrect. I think we should all sneak out there in the middle of the night with a "Cherry Picker" bucket truck, and correct old Babe. We'll wack 'em off! Gee now I am starting to sound like a crazy Canuck, lumber swinging hockey player aren't I???????

Paul

Neat website, Paul. My understanding was that Babe could be an ox and keep his family jewels!

As I read your post, I had a mental image of you and Bert in your respective Jeeps, each making off with one of the giant sapphires.

Now I'm flashing back to Fred Flinstone's car tipping under the weight of a Bronto-burger.

Thanks for the visuals! This one's going to stick with me.

HAHAHAHA...you all are killing me!! Paul, you are absolutely right and it (they) caught my attention also. A steer is a castrated male bovine. An ox is an adult steer that has been trained to work. Also, I have never been unlucky enough to see blue ones. That would likely be dangerous as I would imagine a bull with blue would not be in a congenial mood. Worse yet with Bert and his polyvinyl Polly Anna standing underneath them saying vows about "to have and to hold" he might really be primed. Let's see, that would make him primed beef, right? And, for Dave, there is a code for idiocy...even one for OXycephalic idiocy 756.0

Leslie