It all becomes clear to me now. Bert answers posts by day, then wines and dines super-models and foreign agents by night.
But wait -- Bert answers posts by night, as well!
So, when does he don his $2000 Prada sport coat?
Perhaps "Bert" is the code name for the leader of a secret cadre of Amazing Charts Guardian Angels. This would explain a lot, really.
Bert -- International Man of Mystery.
(P.S. - What was the ICD-9 code for ZZ Top?)
