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That suggests to me I'm never going see under 14 seconds on the laptops even if we were to get new fast ones. Because how could we beat the main machine?

Have you ever defragged the main machine? High levels of fragmentation can result in very slow speeds. For me it's about 5-10 seconds to start AC after a cold boot. Maybe 1-3s to login (switching users is the same amount). I think you may want to look into SSDs. Just because a computer is new does not mean it's fast. Most times using a solid state drive will give you a much larger benefit than getting i7 instead of i5 or increasing your RAM from 4GB to 8GB. If you still feel performance is weak, try using one your server.